Paige Rechtman & Squiggles
Squiggles is turning 20 in September, and I have had her since she was born! Our family cat, Flopsy, gave birth to her and I was right there watching as she entered the world.
From the time Squiggles was a teeny little kitten, she and I have had a very special connection. You know what they say—the cat chooses the owner! She basically lived in my bedroom when I was a teenager, and when I went away to college, she was so stressed out that she lost all of her fur. She has stayed with me since I graduated, and has lived in Florida, Georgia, and now NYC.
We truly understand each other—I know what she’s trying to say when she meows or purrs or gives me a certain look. Sometimes she’s like “gimme treats!” Or sometimes she’s telling me she’s bored and wants to play. I even know when she’s requesting that I clean the litter box… I can just tell what she’s saying.
I like to think that she is highly evolved for a cat. There is something about her face that is so expressive and communicative—you can tell when she’s smiling! And when she’s really happy, she squiggles her body and tail around which is how she got her name. She loves when I stretch her, and I think that might have something to do with how she has lived so long—she gets her kitty yoga in! And she cannot resist an arm nook—all I have to do is curl my arm out for her to sit in and she plops herself down right there.
“She isn’t just my best friend—she’s my soul creature. She has been such a huge part of my life since I was 16. ”
She has several nicknames: Squit, Little Squit, Squitten, Squitten in the Sun, Squitten in a Squall, Squiggleball, Stinkfoot, Squiggly-Wiggly, Screamer, Cute-in-the-face, and most recently, Yah Fweezing. Her rap name is Lil’ Fweezy.
About 3 years ago, Squiggles went through a health scare and it turns out she has kidney disease. I thought it was a death sentence, and that her life was coming to an end soon, but how wrong I was! Three years later, and she is flourishing. In fact, at the beginning of this year, my partner and I took a cross-country trip for 4 months, and Squiggles came with us! In the car! All the way to California! And back! I was a bit nervous that the drive and the unfamiliarity would stress her out, but she unexpectedly loved the adventure. Having new places to explore seemed to light a fire in her—she especially loved Santa Fe, NM. The trip seemed to have stimulated her brain in a new way and gave her a fresh energy. And, she was so well-behaved in the car—just slept in my lap most of the time.
Every few months she seems to slow down more and more. She is on a special diet, and we have to give her fluid injections. I hate needles, but I’ve somehow have mustered up the courage to stick her with a needle several times a week for the past 3 years so she can stay hydrated and healthy. It still freaks me out every time I do it, but nothing will stop a girl who loves her cat! Her 20th birthday is coming up on September 21 (it feels like her Sweet 16 was just yesterday). I really hope she makes it. Either way, I will be celebrating all of the joy and love she has brought into my life.
I think about her death often—probably more than your average cat owner, and I have for years. I know it’s sad and morbid—even typing about it now is making me tear up. But being aware of how fleeting our time is together has also helped me to cherish every moment that I have with her even more. It’s also helping me to prepare because I know I’m going to be devastated. She isn’t just my best friend—she’s my soul creature. She has been such a huge part of my life since I was 16. When I’ve been sad, she has literally licked the tears from my eyes. I know in my heart that when she transitions into the next realm, her spirit will always be with me and that one day our souls will reunite again. But for now, I try to savor every moment that we have together. I have been able to spend more time with her than I could have possibly imagined, and I’m just so grateful.
Paige Rechtman is a licensed psychotherapist with a private practice in NYC. She works with women in their 20s and 30s, who are experiencing anxiety, grief/loss, identity crises, and major life transitions.