Michelle Gonzales & Sue
This boy named Sue came into my life when I needed him most. I was freelancing full-time, for the first time (it doesn’t always stick) and when I wasn’t home stressing about my next gig, I was out hustling to make another gig happen. Navigating working in production and advocating for myself left me feeling extra drained, and I was depressed. My partner and I had only been dating a couple of months when I had a panic attack. We had discussed getting a kitten together, but we both had wounds from previous kitty losses and were hesitant. The morning after my panic attack I went into the kitchen, made myself tea, and sat down in the quiet. I was surprised to hear my partner getting up, and out he popped from the bedroom, laptop in hand, with cat adoption options on the screen. He sat next to me and we scrolled through. I asked, “Why are we looking at cats right now?” and he replied “We are going to get one today. I know it will help you feel better, and you deserve a kitty.” I burst into tears of joy and we continued searching.
We ended up driving to Washington, a family had posted that both their cats got pregnant and had litters at the same time. They only had 5 kittens left out of almost 20 and they plopped them on the dining room table. There was only one sitting quietly, so I picked it up. The woman said, “that’s a little girl”. I lifted her up to look closer and she put her paw against my chest and pushed herself back to look me straight in the eye. Her sweet green eyes were so serious. I handed this gray girl over to my partner and said, “I like her, she’s kinda bossy”. In my partner’s arms, she did the same thing. We adopted her on the spot. I spent the rest of the day with the kitten wrapped in my scarf. She slept for hours and never cried. We named her Luna.
“As a lover of aesthetics and all things color, I could obsess over this pretty boy for hours. Sue’s gray fluff is always perfect and polished.”
Once we got into the vet, we found out the poor baby had fleas and her ears were filled with debris. We also found out she was actually a he. The vet showed us where his little kitty balls hadn’t dropped and with his balls in hand, thrust him towards me and asked if I wanted to grab them myself. I recoiled! We left the vet feeling overwhelmed with the new information. We didn’t want a boy cat and here we were with one, named Luna. In the car ride home, we talked about a name change. The radio was playing and “A boy named Sue” came on. Johnny Cash sang, “Some gals would giggle, and I'd turn red. And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head. I'll tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named Sue” It felt like the universe was giving us a sign to name our bossy and in charge boy, Sue. He already had the attitude.
Sue is a big personality, who loves me the most and shows it. He has the biggest attitude towards strangers and struts around until ANY unexpected sound happens and he takes off into hiding. As a lover of aesthetics and all things color, I could obsess over this pretty boy for hours. Sue’s gray fluff is always perfect and polished. Our admiration for each other is obvious, and sometimes it leaves my partner feeling left out (sorry love!).
Sue will sleep with me most nights, where he wakes me up by pulling my face closer to his with his paws and giving me kisses. He will be my little spoon and rest his chin on the side of my face and we fall back to sleep that way. He likes to sleep in smallish spaces too, most often his custom cat tree with a little box top to mimic the one sitting on my desk that he squishes into while I paint or sew. I typically wake up when he starts cooing at me, pretty early, and we head downstairs. Our routine started during the pandemic, where he winds through my legs and gives me headbutts as I feed him. I heat up some water and once my tea is ready and he has had his first bites of breakfast, we sit together in the quiet. He purrs and nestles into my arms and usually by the time he is done cuddling, my tea is cool enough to drink. Those are some of my favorite moments, it feels like he needs that time just as much as I do. He acts tough towards everyone but me.
He and I are bonded in a way that I have never had with previous cats. My childhood cat passed away last year (she was 21!) and I could not visit her or my mom before or during her passing because of the pandemic. Sue helped me heal so much during that time. He reminds me of her in different ways. He is very responsive to stress noises, mostly crying, and comes and finds me wherever I am in the apartment. He will jump up and sniff my face to make sure I am okay, then he lays nearby and monitors. I think Sue would consider himself a “protector” in the scheme of things. Anyone who visits our home can tell you he is the gargoyle you must pass to get in and you are typically met with lots of sideways stances, hisses, and playful swatting. He doesn’t bite or use his claws, but he acts tough to let everyone know that this is his space.
Michelle Gonzales is a Portland-based wardrobe stylist, muralist, and model. When she isn’t home decorating and redecorating her space, she’s out thrifting, getting tattoos from rad artists, listening to true crime podcasts, and laughing with her chosen family.