Micaela Browning, Kali, Mars & Ivan
When I finished graduate school and got my first big-kid job I was going through a difficult time adjusting to post-academic life, ending an unhealthy relationship, and generally figuring out how to be a person in the world. Longing for the comfort and companionship of the cats from my childhood, I dipped my toes into the wide, wide world of cat rescue listings on The Interwebs. I set my heart on a timid-looking black cat named Dutchess (sic). I emailed the rescue immediately and confirmed I’d be at their next adoption event at the local Petco. It was love at first sight for me, and pure hatred and disgust for Dutchess (whose name I immediately changed to Kali—the Hindu goddess who is mother to all living creatures; she had recently had a litter of kittens, all of which were adopted before her). She spent the first month of her life aggressively avoiding me—hiding in closets, under floorboards, and behind the refrigerator. Then one day, a switch flipped. I woke up in the morning, rolled over in bed, and Kali was right by my side, curled up next to me, purring and purring.
And that’s where she’s been ever since! Even now, she’s sitting next to me as I type, monitoring my productivity, wondering when I’ll go to bed (too late for her liking, probably). True to her name, she is a real mother, to me, and now to two other younger cats I adopted after her—Mars and Ivan. She loves following me and the other cats around, making sure everyone is accounted for, and breakfast and dinner are distributed to all at an acceptable time. She’s the most vocal of the bunch and enjoys screaming for food, screaming at me to go to bed, and screaming for no reason at all.
Kali has struggled with asthma for the past year or so, and recently, despite medication, it has gotten worse. Last week we returned to the vet for a chest x-ray, and she was diagnosed with suspected lung cancer. She’s an old cat, and the treatment is stressful and invasive. My goal is to keep her happy and comfortable for as long as she has left with me, and ensure she never knows a day without love and compassion until she’s ready to go.
Mars, a large, hulking Siamese mix, is the problem child of the bunch. I adopted him a few years after Kali after a colleague in New Orleans (where I went to grad school) discovered him in the engine of their car after they had made a three-hour drive from Lafayette, LA back home. He was covered in motor oil and fleas, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him from terrorizing the neighbor’s resident cat, so he needed a new home. I jumped at the opportunity. My then-boyfriend and I agreed that Kali seemed a bit lonely and needed a buddy. Well, we got a lot more than we signed up for. I’m convinced Mars is a mutant Cajun swamp cat—not only is he ENORMOUS but he has some straight-up weird behaviors. On one occasion, he chewed clear through a can of Garbanzo beans when I forgot to feed him for an hour or so. Another time, he ate a very realistic-looking plastic palm tree I was hoping to keep in the house since Mars eats any and all other plants I’ve tried to cultivate. Oddly he has zero interest in chicken, meat, or any other human foods cats would typically enjoy. Give that boy a tub of Kale though, and he’ll go HAM on it.
“He has zero spatial awareness and will sit on your head, put his butthole in your face, and give you an unsolicited mammogram with his paws and chest. ”
Mars is the most cuddly cat I’ve ever had, which would be fine if it weren’t for the fact that he’s totally unaware of his size and girth. He has zero spatial awareness and will sit on your head, put his butthole in your face, and give you an unsolicited mammogram with his paws and chest. Despite his brutish nature, at night, the minute I shut off my light and turn over in bed, he runs into the room, pushes his way under the covers, and curls up next to me like a little person, head on the pillow and body under the covers. He’ll sleep like that until 5am or so when he gets hungry at which point he’ll step on my head, pull my hair with his teeth, and/or bite my nose until I cave and feed him.
Ivan is the baby. He was an accident, unplanned. One night, I was sitting and watching TV, and I heard a bloody-murder scream outside the house. I opened the door cautiously and saw a tiny black kitten on my porch. He was hollering at the top of his lungs, with no mother or littermates in sight. He bolted the minute I started to move toward him, so I knew I’d have to trap him. Despite my best efforts, no traps worked on him until we tried a drop trap, and finally, I was able to bring him inside! Once inside, he stopped screaming, and to this day I’ve never heard him make a peep, save the occasional chirp at a bird or a plaintive call to his best buddy, Mars, if he can’t see him.
I had every intention of adopting him out, but it was challenging. He was terrified of humans, and people seemed less interested in black cats. I figured I would socialize him with Mars and Kali, but that went TOO well and Ivan became extremely bonded to both, especially Mars. Mars and Ivan to this day are partners in crime—tag teaming activities like cabinet-opening and food-stealing, grooming each other, snuggling and sharing beds, and birdwatching.
Ivan is kind of a weirdo—he’s basically mute, but seems to communicate best by shoving anything and everything off my tables, counters, and windowsills. If I sleep too late, I’ll wake up to a tornadic scene of destruction—candles on the floor, coins flung out of my money dish, jewelry scattered all over my dresser. This is my cue to feed him, apparently, actions do speak louder than words when you’re a quiet little cat.
Ivan is still a shy boy, and it took years before would accept pets or any other kind of human touch. In the past few months, he’s begun purring and rubbing his face on my hands when I pet him—these are small milestones, but they mean so much to me. Earning his trust has been so rewarding—I love this tiny little house panther, and he was the perfect final addition to the family.
Micaela Browning lives on the UWS with her accompanying cat circus. She works for a tech company in the analytics department, and enjoys running, traveling to far-flung places, and spending time with her partner (who wasn’t before, but certainly now is, a cat person :) ).