Heidi Gardner, Marshall, Cubby Bear & Tweaky
Cats left to right: Tweaky, Marshall, Cubby Bear
I’ve always been a catwoman. There’s always been a cat at the foot of my bed or in my arms being squeezed like a teddy bear. Even as I write this love letter to my kitties, my male kitty, Marshall is cuddled up in the crook of my arm. Marshall is a good place to start. He’s the first kitty I had as an adult. My friend Brenda found Marshall and his siblings on the streets of Los Angeles; they were tiny with their eyes still closed. She took them all to the vet and Marshall was able to come home that day as long as she gave him eye drops. She happened to be leaving town that night and I was going to be housesitting for her. So she kindly asked if I wouldn’t mind giving eye drops to a 4-week old Siamese kitten until she got back and could find him a home. Uh, DUH!!! I’d do that every day for the rest of my life. And after taking care of him for a week there was no doubt he would be living with anyone else but me.
My then-boyfriend/now-husband Zeb named him Marshall after the rapper Eminem. He was a wildly playful and fun kitten. He could jump so high! Marshall is the sweetest boy you’ll ever meet. He’s so affectionate and full of head butts and cuddles. He’s always by my side when I’m upset. He LOVES compliments. I tell him all the time how beautiful and kind he is. I even let him know that a tribe of lions would definitely accept him. He likes it very much. And after being with him for a while, we realized he’s a Tonkinese. His blue eyes will wreck you.
Marshall
“I feel so grateful that all of our cats are rescues. It’s nice to know we’ve given them solace. But they’ve given us even more.”
About 6 months after finding Marshall, I decided he needed a buddy. I hopped on Craigslist and there was the cutest tabby I’d ever seen. I got in the car and soon met a girl in the parking lot of a grocery store, where she gave me a kitten that she said was just 8 weeks old. But there was no way this kitten was 8 weeks. She was the smallest thing I’d ever seen—hamster sized. I was a little like, “Uh oh! What have I done?” But Zeb and I brought home our lil hamster-cat and named her Cubby Bear after one of the Gummi Bears on the old cartoon. Zeb took the lead on potty training and bottle feeding her. And to this day—even at 13 years old—she’s still a daddy’s girl, finding constant comfort kneading her paws on her dad’s chest. It’s the sweetest. She’s the most adaptable and chill cat by far. We call her “vacation kitty” because wherever we go she’s cool with it and is the first to find the coziest spot in whatever her new habitat may be.
Tweaky
Tweaky, our youngest kitty was not planned; she was a true surprise. Ten years ago we visited Kansas City, Missouri, where I’m from. During the trip, we were picking up BBQ and there was a screaming kitty near a dumpster begging for love. When Zeb picked her up, she clawed the hell out of him and we realized maybe she wanted food more than love, so we brought her back some shrimp. Thousands of dollars in vet bills and a plane ticket to L.A. later, she was ours. And we are so lucky she chose us. We named her Tweaky because she just can’t sit still. Tweaky is a long-haired, tortoiseshell who looks a little like an owl with bright yellow eyes. She makes us laugh a lot. Maybe it’s all the tweaking and her gravely kitty voice. Sometimes we call her “Firefox” because she curls up like the Mozilla Firefox icon.
I feel so grateful that all of our cats are rescues. It’s nice to know we’ve given them solace. But they’ve given us even more. The pandemic has taught me a lot about being present with your animals. Sometimes all they need is for you to look them in the eyes and really see them, acknowledge when they scratch their post really good, and give them an unexpected treat every once in a while. I like making my cats feel loved.
My job can be pretty stressful and having three kitties to pet at the end of the day has done wonders for my mental health. It’s so calming and it eases my anxiety. Also knowing I have to take care of them helps me get out of my work brain and focus more on them.
I wish I could put into words how much I love Marshall, Cubby, and Tweaky but it’s impossible. I can cry thinking about them. I love their little faces. Their soft noses. Their glowing eyes. The furriest paws. I love how each one is so different from the other. I have three true individuals. I want to give them the absolute best lives. I hope Zeb and I are doing that for them because they’ve added so much sweetness to ours. I love you, kitties! Extra treats today!!!
Heidi Gardner is a cast member on Saturday Night Live. She was born in Kansas City, Missouri. She’s married to writer Zeb Wells.